Title?
by I Am the Batman Dag Nab It
Summary: Cause: An Annoying Sue, a vampire couch, Rachel bashing/conspiracy, and perhaps most importantly, the "believable" toll Crane's life will take after a hug. Effect: This isn't going to end well...


**Authors Note:**

Annoying Sue = Marry Sue on narcotics and steroids

**WARNING:**

If you don't like silliness, then this is not the story for you! It is a silly story, on crack. Then it thought, "Hey! Why not try pot?" Therefore, it did. Then any and all other forms of drugs it could possibly think of to make it loopy. All at the same time. On top of that… Alcohol! Then it died and turned into a zombie, and for some odd reason, started to dance as if it was the f*ckng coolest thing to walk this earth! Nevertheless, this fic isn't Michael Jackson into the future from the past in the time period of the 1980's. So this will have to do. Thus, I present to you, the nameless fic:

* * *

**-THE BEGINNING-**

"Then why do you want to kill me?" Asked Annoying Sue, in a voice that sounded like a man. She wasn't even trying. Her hair was frizzing like she had dried _it_ in a toaster oven, and then torched it with a flame blower. After that, she went out into 102% humidity, and hopped into a kiddy pool of water… With a blow dryer… In addition, kept on dunking it in the kiddy pool like it was a donut… Until she realized she had to plug it in… So once that was complete, she continued to shock herself for reasons the world will never know.

Only the Joker knew what she was capable of. She was his Harley Quinn. Though that made no sense, because her name had nothing to do with a character that hasn't even been introduced yet.

That last paragraph would have been longer, not to mention, made more sense in regards to the first paragraph, and the rest of this story, but Annoying Sue farted. The stench was so horrible, everybody went temporarily insane for a few moments.

Gotham's hottest play boy Bruce Wayne donates mega money to the, "Help Annoying Sue Be Less Repulsing Because She's Just So Gosh Darn Ugly," foundation each year at the fun raiser he holds for HUSBLRBSJSGDU.

I know that doesn't fit in here, but what the hell? I've read worse. Any who, Annoying Sue needed the Joker. Regardless of the fact she and Bruce go way back. Forget Skank-face Rachel. Normally she wouldn't speak in that nature about anyone who has the audacity to be, quite frankly, like Rachel, but Rachel was different. She was Rachel. You want to know something funny? This is my story, and I don't even know if we're still talking about the same Rachel we were in the beginning of this paragraph.

Joker laughs, as if he had heard her inner thoughts. But Annoying Sue would never think that's why he laughed. She isn't a self-induced narcissist. Her thoughts were hilarious, and his brain isn't as awesome as hers, and can't read minds. "I- I don't want to _kill _you! No, no, NO. No! What would I do with out you? You… _You_… Are so… UGLY!"

"But you tried to blow me up in a ware house filled with oil drums while I talked on the phone to Harvey Dent! Who also really hates me!" Annoying Sue replied, sounding more and more like Batman. However, she wasn't being historical- WAIT, I meant hysterical! She is historical. She's related to Bruce Wayne's Mother. **FACT: **Bruce Wayne's Mom was the first ever woman pimp. There for, cause for her to be historical.

Did I mention that she knows who Batman is? Well… She does. She just cannot tell you because she is sworn to secrecy. Bruce was her first after all! But Joker was better. BECAUSE YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW THAT!11!1! LOLOLOLOL!2!22! Am I aware that people do not type "2's" between exclamation marks? Why, no. No I am not.

Ah! Damn it! Annoying Sue farted again!

"Don't talk like one of them! You're not! Even if you'd like to be…" Joker stated.

"Who! Who would I like to be?" Annoying Sue kept her composer, and quietly responded. Ignore the expiation marks. I was just too lazy to go and change them.

"They need you right now, to fulfill their _creepy_ fantasies. But when the fandom goes to shit, they'll cast you out. Like a leper! You'll see!" Joker ends with an out of place maniacal laugh. A very long, "out of place maniacal laugh."

Then Batman bashes Jokers head on the table.

Where did Annoying Sue go?

Your Mother's couch ate her.

Was "your Mother's couch" meant as an offensive term to describe you Mom's weight?

No.

I mean the couch that resides in your Mom's living room actually came to life, and ate Annoying Sue.

Why not?

Then the couch was chopped to bits by a million axes.

Why?

Because the authors of a million hate comments on Annoying Sue stories got angry that your Mother's couch did the job they failed to do for…

What?

How long has it been?

Whatever!

Sense the beginning of Annoying Sue's time.

"Owiee, Batman! You _naughty _boi!" Said Joker in reply to getting his head thrown on the table. Oh, so now this has turned into a slash fic where the author talks to you? Gee! I don't believe I've ever read one of those before! But sadly… No. That is not what happened.

In reality -or- in this story's twisted sense of the Apocalypse, your Mother's couch is, in fact, a vampire. And while the mob of haterz chopped away at your Mother's couch, they didn't even think of using the wooden handles of their axe's.

So your Mother's couch sucked all of their blood out. Including the Joker and Batman's.

Then someone's phone wailed loudly in the audience. Seriously, it sounded like a PMSing Batman. Whom could the phone possibly belong too? Well, Rachel Dawes, of course! Who else?

Your Mother's couch didn't waste a second of time before eating Rachel. Just gulped her right up.

After all was said and done, nobody missed "Rachel." We're so on to her. So now, back to the story:

"Batman, no!" Screamed a voice. Whom the voice belonged to was unclear. Who would ever think it was Jonathan Crane under that burlap mask? Not me! Nope, nope, nope!

Jonathan was apparently upset that Batman was eaten by your Mother's couch. They were having an affair. Batman and the Couch, I mean. Jonathan only loved to video tape their escapades. It just wouldn't be the same now that Batman is dead. Jonathan really needed a hug at that moment.

Suddenly, the little boy that Rachel found more worth her time, then getting out of the Narrows during the movie, 'Batman Begins,' appears beside Crane, and gives him a hug.

Sparks started to pop inside of Jonathan's tummy. Soon they turned into full, blown-out fire-works! Right then and there, something clicked inside of him. He felt wonderful! Jonathan Crane was complete. He no longer felt the need to be Scarecrow anymore. Screw MPD, or DID, he was a new man!

"Thank you little boy! I love you-" Jonathan was interrupted.

"Ew! You sick-o!" Said the blond headed boy before running away.

Then Crane realized he was bored with his newly found happiness, and deemed it a brilliant idea to take the fall for Harvey Dent's murders, and murder. So now, it was over. Er… Sort of, I guess. It's not like I ran out of ideas for the ending, and decided to kill off Batman- I mean Jonathan in a really lame way, and fail… Or anything.

But sadly, Crane followed the breadcrumbs to a candy house, and went inside. He then was eaten… By the Sand Man.

Then the Sand Man ripped off his mask.

Not Jonathan's mask. The Sand Man ripped off the mask he was sporting on his own head, because he wasn't really the Sand man.

Shoot! It wasn't a mask! It was his real face! He just ripped the skin off his face!

"AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH!"

**-THE END-**

**

* * *

**

**Authors Note:** So maybe Title? could benefit from a trip or two to rehab. But we have love, and that's all we need, dammit! ALL WE NEED!


End file.
